Cashback King

•November 20, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Ok so it has been a seriously long time since I have posted a blog and really don’t have too much to say or time of late to write a new post but I thought that I would just come back to share something which is a world away from what I usually write, but none the less useful to a lot of people.

Now in these tough financial times, everyone is looking for extra ways to make ends meet and I was no different in this situation and wanted to find ways to make money online that was easy, straight forward and guaranteed and that’s when I came across Cashback King.

This guide is PHENOMENAL! Really, I was making money within 30 minutes of buying the guide and have continued to do so every since.

Without giving too much away, this guide basically teaches you how to use cashback sites in a way that you earn the big amounts of cashback available on the website, but the most you will have to spend of your own money is £1!!!! No when you have at least 4 people giving you £50 for a £1 spend, that says PROFIT to me!!! And once your done with the £50s move on to the next 4 or 5 that are offering £40/35 and so on!

I have made hundreds from this guide and as a thank you to the author, I said I would post something on my blog, even though it is not the usual content.

The guide cost £29.99 and I had made £50 within 5 minutes of finishing reading it so it easily pays for itself and if you are still unsure there is a full money back guarantee.

If you are in need of some extra cash and are looking at ways of earning extra money or income online, from home, this is the guide for you



Communication Breakdown

•January 12, 2010 • 2 Comments

What are the first things you do when you wake up? What do you do just before you go to sleep? What’s your preferred method of contact? whats the easiest way to let someone down?

For me, the answers are check my phone, check my phone, text/email/face-to-face (dependent on the person!), and finally, most DEFINITELY text or email!

If you haven’t guessed by now, my topic for this blog is the fascinating story of the rise of technology and the relationships and social changes it has made (or broken.) I will certainly “own” my part in these new ways of life and effects it has on peoples relationships and behaviour. I have wondered recently about how I struggle to really be in the moment with people and not just enjoying the conversation I am in, I am often left analyzing and dissecting it. I suppose I have come to the conclusion that a possibility for this is my removal from human interaction and intimacy by my heavily technological life. I work with computers, I use my phone for just about anything, I use computers for fun, contact, blogging, information…There is no doubt that my time spent in and around technology massively outweighs my time spent building and being in relationships with others.

I wouldn’t like to immediately shun and play down the huge bonuses of technology and the way it has completely transformed our lives. Something as simple as finding information in split seconds (whether right or wrong…I’m looking at you Wikipedia!), to getting an unexpected song to number 1, to controlling homing missiles, the list is endless and a world without technology would be unthinkable. But where does this lead us, where does it stop and where do we go from here? People have more fulfilling and preferable lives in the World of Warcraft, pornography is much more accessible to all ages and I could buy just about anything I wanted in the blink of an eye. Is this really a good thing?!

As my friend so rightly said, ‘we are part of the now generation.’ We expect things easily and instantly. We can find what we need, whenever we need, wherever we need. “google it” is as common a phrase as any and really leaves no limits on what we can find information on. So we are left with a huge scale ranging from the amazingly good to the devastatingly bad, how do we make sure that we/I stay where we want on this scale?

From my perspective I think I need to take a step back from technology. Things can wait and an intimate human relationship is by far the most amazing and precious thing and something which will certainly not be completely recreated by technology. It is certainly appealing to have all these things at our fingertips and disposal but where does it leave us?

I suppose we become the spoilt child who was brought up to get whatever they want, whenever they want and we fall victim of fitting in a similar technological category. I have been part of a generation where computers and phones are part of every day life and it would be strange without them. However, as hard as it may seem to imagine there has been a much greater time without these things and they seem to get on alright didn’t they!? We mustn’t be too quick to dismiss the lessons and ways of people who didn’t have what we have today. Some of the most amazing buildings were created with not even close to what we have today and have outlived some of the most modern buildings of our time.

I think the answer is to maintain a balance. To not become to reliant on our technology and equipment. People have coped without it before and will continue to do so in the future. I don’t need everything now and in its best possible form. What I truly need will suffice.

As for relationships, it is important that in that moment, I give that person my full attention and really listen to them. It doesn’t matter what score PNE is or if I have an email from Amazon. What matters is that I have the privilege of someones time and respect and this cannot be written by a program. It is real.

A rather boring and shallow post, don’t ya think?!

•January 12, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Happy new year and here we go for my first full year of blogging (hopefully!)

Thank you for you continued support and mentions of my blog.

I have noticed quite a lot of people seem to keep checking back to the home page for updates. An easier way around this is to subscribe to the blog. This will send you an email anytime I post anything and would be a great way to keep up-to-date.

To do this simply Click on the button at the top right of this page which says “Sign me up!” – dont worry there is no contract or fee!! You will just get emails each time I upload new articles.

Thanks again,


Christmas Consumerism II

•December 24, 2009 • 1 Comment

So here we are on Christmas eve and I thought it was an appropriate time to review this short years (2 months) worth of blogs and have a look at the Christmas of the world in 2009.

I suppose the two things which stand out for me around this time is the news I have just heard of peoples spending being recorded at £1 million a minute (not a typo!) and the triumph of rage against the machine in the Christmas number one spot. These represent two very different sides of society for me and also reprsent quite clearly some of the things I have wrote about upto now.

As I have written in the Christmas Consumerism blog (see previous posts) I do feel like the present buying culture around Christmas is completely forced on the sheep of our society (most of us! And myself included) we only buy the presents because we are told we should, adverts get more frequent and who are we to question the money grabbing capitalists of our society?! The astonishing fact that people are spending 1 million pounds a minute on last minute presents and sales are set to start on Christmas day online then what exactly is this time of year? When I think about Christmas I immediately think of a break from work and the need to think of a present for each person in my family. I do try and muster up the courage to tell me family I will instead buy them presents through the year instead of when I am forced. However, I do crumble as I feel the guilt of Christmas day and not having bought anything for them. I just struggle to see what Christmas is actually about anymore?

I suppose this rant is really using Christmas as an illustration to show how we can be manipulated as people and how difficult it can be to break the mould and step away from the crowd. It is just one of the many things that we do as people and often follow without questioning because it is the norm and it is much harder to explain your actions if they stand on their own and away from the “right” way to act. I think it is our duty to start questioning our way of life and the things we follow without question.

This brings me quite nicely to rage against the machine. Something which has broken the mould. We continually follow the mind numbing xfactor and it is taken for granted that they will become number 1. However, it took just one person to start a group and make people think about their actions to break the norm. Now it is debateable about the reasons behind peoples support of this record but I think it illustrates nicely the oppurtunity to change the standard and how refreshing it is. The problem I am beginning to realize though is that the norm is replaced by the norm. If getting a unchristmassy record to number one becomes a trend year after year then there is almost a reverse revolution and people would then begin to vote xfactor to number 1 to knock of the next rock record off the top spot.

So what’s the answer. Quite simply it is to follow ourselves. We are the only people who know ourselves so well and are in complete control of our actions. I also believe we are the only people to know our true desires and actions, however hard they may be at times. The difficulty is really listening to this and acting upon it – especially when it is frowned upon, which is often the case with truly life changing actions. Because if it wasn’t questioned it would be normal and not take any risk to follow through. The truly important decisions and actions we take are the most difficult. I have increasingly learnt, the harder something is, the more rewarding it is at the end.

I think if everyone discovered what truly matters to them and tried hard to find out what is really beneath everyones introjections, conditions of worth and ways of being then they would find a truly refreshing and settling way of living which would rid many of the struggles they face from day to day. The really difficulty is the battle of getting to what is really true to us as it can be buried beneath so much of the following trends and other peoples needs.

So really I would like to sign off this years blogs with the regular message of listening to yourself and doing what you want to do – despite the really difficulty with getting to this.

I would also like to thank everyone for their support through the last few months with this blog. I am very touched and honoured by the traffic this blog creates and it’s nice to know these words are being read by many.

Happy break and make 2010 a year for change.


It just doesnt make sense!!

•December 16, 2009 • Leave a Comment

So I will take a slight detour from my usual generic posts and focus on counselling inparticular. My rant is about the difficulty and frustration faced with trying to get. Counselling job. I certainly am in this position but my difficulty is echoed by thousands every year.

The most frustrating thing is that the struggle does not make any sense. As counselling student we pay thousands (personally approx. £6000 to date) to train, put hundreds of hours of work, personal development, research, reading etc and for what? To work as a voulenteer.

Now I do not want to knock the voluntary sectors nor do I disagree with businesses making the most of free employment but the difficulty is with the lack of paid work for a service which is in high demand and of such use.

I personally feel there are very few people who would not benefit from counselling. People have so many damaging ways of
being or harming processes (to selves and others) that counselling would give a space for people to explore and grow in such a beneficial way. Most free services have huge waiting lists and cannot get enough free cousellors to help lessen the load so the demand for the profession is not debateable. The problem then must be with the resources to provide paid employment. This can only be due to people not seeing the true benefits of therapy.

CBT is by far the most widely backed form of counselling. Quite simply because it can easily provide statistics for government people who don’t have time to check things thoroughly enough which say jim had a fear of X now he doesn’t – CBT works! It isn’t that simple though, the true questions and processes are missed out. Why is this fear present, what happens when circumstances change or the underlying issues grow through the soil used to cover them and the weeds begin to show again. This is why we need more indepth, relationship based therapies such as person centered counselling. I truly believe in this method because it is human, it is genuine, it looks at the issues, it doesn’t pave over the cracks, instead it fixes them with the client in control.

I wouldn’t like to get lost in a discussion of the most successful therapies, but to stay focused on the frustration of lack of funding for such a valuable and life changing service. Unfortunately, when the funding is put up by the government, it is put into what I believe to be the wrong places.

So where do we go from here? Do we need to change our approach a therapists? Do we need to put more into research and provide a concrete case for funding?

I am personally toying with the idea of starting private practice myself and I think that the issues which often can let people down is avoiding that counselling is actually a business. I need to see my practice as a product which needs to be bought. I need 15 clients a week for this business to survive so how do I get my targets. I think the difficulty with this approach is that it is so far removed from humane and caring approach in the counselling room. Is it possible to be a business man outside the counselling room and a caring therapist inside?

I think the answer is yes and even more so a necessity. Not all business has to be cut throat and heirarchical. I think business can be done in a humane way also and that it is about setting goals, planning action and approaches and making sure you stick to them.

Unfortunately this doesn’t answer the need for more work to be created outside of private practice. I suppose all we can do as therapists is to try and help in research and pushing our case to the people who make funding decision. However, it is also important to stay true to what we belive in provide the best service we can to our clients because once one client passes on their life changing story the seeds begin to grow an people learn of it’s importance and pass on their experience and so-on.

The more we do to provide the best service possible to our clients, the more we do to provide an invaluable service to everyone else aswell.

I hurt others because I am hurt myself…

•December 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment

As most of my learning over the past few years, I was processing how I had been in a situation and was wandering why I behaved like I did. In short, I was a hurt and embarrassed inside and this caused me to try and create the same feelings in someone else. This got me wandering about many of the hard to explain acts of violence, unkindness and generally anti-social behaviour that we see in the world today and wondered if it was a similar chain of events that can be used to explain its presence in today’s society.

I don’t like to generalize or pigeonhole but I think it would be fair to say that a great deal of anti-social behaviour is linked with lower social classes and deprived upbringings:

People’s perception of the level of anti-social behaviour varies by gender, area and age, with people most likely to perceive high levels in areas of greatest social deprivation.


As I have argued previously in blogs, peoples upbringing, past and experiences in life contribute a great deal to how they behave and feel as individuals in the present and I think when looking at anti-social behaviour, this is no different. What is often created is a cycle in a social setting or family which is extremely hard to break and more often than not will continue to exist and be passed down through different family’s and social settings.

The reason that I believe many of people in socially deprived areas follow similar anti-social behaviour is because they know no different and also there is so much going on inside them which builds up to a point of explosion, creating this behaviour. Many of the people who carry out acts of violence or similar have been brought up seeing their peers do exactly the same and so why should they know any different. Just in the same way that I am brought up to be polite and show respect, some people are taught the opposite, to stand up for one’s self and ‘be a man’ and so who can blame them for behaving like they do.
(N.B. I think it is important to note, I am not preaching a “right” way to behave when comparing mine and others behaviour, merely showing two differences. Some would say that I am totally wrong in my behaviour and should show more attitude in my social interactions.)

As well as this, many of these people have had extremely difficult upbringings and the sheer amount of emotion that is bottled up in a lot of cases, can sometimes only result in this explosion of behaviour. This use of anti-social behaviour to feed the emotions inside can often be like a drug or sedative, it feeds and calms unspoken feelings inside and while it provide a hit for the time, it only adds to the fire burning internally. As well as this, the surrounding behaviour contributes once again. Many people, especially boys, are laughed at if they speak of how they feel or are victimized or picked on for being open and showing emotion so it is much easier to keep this bottled up inside than to run the risk of losing respect from those around you by talking about emotions. Again, this only adds to everything which is burning inside.

I do not want to condone how some people act when they hurt and even kill others, merely try and add to some understanding of the behaviour and reasons that some people may do this. We all have our own defences and drugs which are manifested through our behaviour and those who act anti-socially are no different. These people have often had no different way shown to them and the support that they need to break this cycle which is constantly around them is often non-existent.

I think it is also important to give great praise to those who challenge these ways of life and beliefs and challenge their stereotype and expected behaviour. Those who walk away from situations, which can result in loss of friends and family and stand up for what they think is right, only to be victimized and given even greater struggles for their decisions…

These people are the truly strong and true “men” in our society.

Christmas Consumerism

•November 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

A news flash come up and announces that this year there will be no festive celebrations, no lights in town centers, no special TV schedules, no holidays from work etc. I think I can safely say that there would be uproar. It would be the front of every paper, the talk of the town and mentioned every second of the day. Now this suggestion sounds far-fetched but actually if we look at it more deeply why is Christmas really celebrated?

The origin of course is the birth of Jesus Christ and despite being an atheist myself, I cannot deny this origin. Whether it is true or not does not really matter when looking at the reason we are supposedly celebrating this time of year. However, the true question is why do we really celebrate christmas in today’s culture. Looking around at the displays, adverts, shops, cards etc I think a very small percentage have religious connotations so I don’t think it can be argue that we still hold the true meaning of Christmas. Even the removal of Christ to form Xmas just shows how unimportant the true meaning can actually be for some. My argument here is not necessarily for everyone to become religiously inclined for a few days (although the yearly trip to church on Christmas day does still seem to be popular in many households.) What I am arguing, however, is that maybe those who truly follow the religion throughout the year hold on to the true meaning during Christmas (which I believe many do) and those that don’t follow the religious reasons the other 364 days of the year actually take a look at why they are celebrating it in the first place.

The simply answer for many is because it is a consumers time of year and a tradition that has been blown out of all proportion by high street shops. As with my other blogs, I write mainly to challenge peoples blinkered stroll in society and to begin to look at why we actually do a lot of the things we do in our life. Why do we drink alcohol, dress in brands, and buy presents at Christmas – because it is expected of us. And the most frustrating thing is that people just happily go along with these ways of life without even questioning them because it is easier to go a long with the majority instead of speak out amongst the minority.

Now it is easy to think of Bah Humbug here but actually it is worth looking at your true reasons for celebrating this time of year. I will not deny it is appealing to get time of work and relax but really the only reason you buy presents is because you are told to by adverts, bright lights and other people. Surely the majority of us are clever enough to see through these ploys that are placed upon us and stand on our own two feet for once instead of buying into the expected social behaviour?

As per usual I only hope to provide food for thought here and maybe awaken some people in the same way that adverts tap into peoples material desires but sometimes it would be nice to actual stand for what we believe in and really find the truth in many of our selves and our actions. I think if people actually took the time to look truly at what they want and what they believe in, a lot of areas would be quite different to what is done by the majority of people. Not only this but for those who find it difficult to stand up and be counted, myself included, then if we all be more true to ourselves, then it will become easier for the rest of us too.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

e.e. cummings, 1955